This morning, woe befriended anxiety, and with their forces together, plunged through my heart as I watched my 9 year old son, diagnosed with SOCIAL COMMUNICATION Disorder, go to school by HIMSELF.
Some of you would say, “What’s death defying about it?”. Nothing, IF his school would just be steps away from home. It’s not a Herculean task if his trip doesn’t consist of 3 transpo changes and IF he wasn’t by himself.
Those who know us (Me and my son) are most likely to say, “Ano ka ba naman? Bakit mo hinayaan? Paano kung may nangyari kay Aeneas?”…Kalma lang, nakarating siya sa school ng buo at walang bangas.
So was everything staged or a spur of the moment? It all began with an intentional action: me leaving him behind on a Monday morning. But him coming to school by himself was instinctive and a showcase of a contemplative thought (I’m actually not sure, for it was beyond my plan and expectation).
I was already keen on the idea of not bringing him to school this morning as a validation to the consequences of his actions. That’ll be another blog entry. Moving on, I left the house by myself, boarded the tricycle in my lonesome, and waited for a possible cab ride along Dr. A Santos in my solitude. The boy I left wailing at home suddenly appeared, cautiously descending from the steps of that misunderstood and misused over pass between Manila Memorial Park and Fourth Estate. I expected to see Granny Lolit, but he was alone. I assumed Mama allowed him since he has money for fare.
I was actually waiting for him to approach me, but he didn’t. He stood there by the foot of the stairs and waited for his ride, anxious of what’s happening around him. The lady barker then asked him, “Anong sasakyan mo?”. “Kabihasnan po,” he replied. “Ikaw lang mag-isa?”, was the follow up question which he answered with a nod, to my surprise. And where was I? I was only few steps, probably three meters, away from him. I was now focused on his next moves. Will he ride with me? Will he really go on his own? Those queues in my mind were answered when a Kabihasnan-bound jeepney appeared. And my heart began to pound crazily.
He didn’t waste any minute and boarded the old blue jeep. The jeepney started to move, and passed by in front of me. As the jeepney became a dot in front, the wild scenarios in my mind began. Many “what-ifs” peppered my consciousness. The moment I boarded a cab, I wanted to beg the driver to drive fast and follow that old blue jeepney, which perhaps was already traversing halfway its route.
I chanced upon the blue jeepney along Evacom, and my system relaxed when I saw Aeneas still seated behind the passenger side (it was our safety spot whenever we board a PUJ). Thunderbolts in my chest began to cease, and a feeling of awe began to engulf me. Who would have thought that this little man who was taken advantaged by his village peers will be able to commute on his own with such great distance.
I arrived first in school. From my calculations, he will arrive 20 minutes after. I began my class, even if I was still standing on pins and needles. My body relaxed and welcomed delight when I heard his voice from the other room.
I am actually confident that he can travel from our place in Paranaque to his school in Las Pinas. I trust his instincts and judgement. I know that he won’t be harmed unless evil forces will pave their way towards him. Ang magtatangkang kumidnap sa kanya, malamang ibalik pa siya sa amin kapag nagpakalawa na siya ng mga tanong niya.
What’s the point of sharing this post? Nothing, I just want to say that my Monday was not MANIC (despite everything that happened).