30 minutes is never enough. It will never be enough. Quantifying work and services should be taboo , but sometimes one needs to be sensitive of the circumstances occurring within another soul’s range.
A human with no extraordinary power but only tons of understanding, but in a day or two, can become inconsiderate, too. Oh yes, that’s plea……CONSIDERATION………….
Hahahaha! The content is faaaaaaaaaaaaaar fetched from the title. Pero, wala lang. Bakit ba, blog ko ito eh! A lament is not one unless it’s unleashed. Once you bawl it out in the public, it’s a done deal; it becomes a sentiment, by which will change eventually.
There’s a saying that when you give, you receive in two-folds.
I also give, share, impart whatever I have. And it gives me such gratification.
But this time, I think I have to be selfish, and only think of myself.
I don’t regret giving myself to others.
My only regret is that I was not able to give the needs of those who depend on me. I even put aside my own needs.
This time, it is me.
You should be proud kasi……………….dapat nga ba akong maging proud?
Masakit kasi yung realization e…….nakakapangduda ng pagkatao………..
Parang thats all I can offer.
Pero pwede rin namang yun lang nakita niya sa akin e.
It was his loss, not mine.
Keep your head up high. Tuloy ang ikot ng mundo kaya tuloy din ang agos ng buhay.
Momentarily insanity lang ito.
This morning, woe befriended anxiety, and with their forces together, plunged through my heart as I watched my 9 year old son, diagnosed with SOCIAL COMMUNICATION Disorder, go to school by HIMSELF.
Some of you would say, “What’s death defying about it?”. Nothing, IF his school would just be steps away from home. It’s not a Herculean task if his trip doesn’t consist of 3 transpo changes and IF he wasn’t by himself.
Those who know us (Me and my son) are most likely to say, “Ano ka ba naman? Bakit mo hinayaan? Paano kung may nangyari kay Aeneas?”…Kalma lang, nakarating siya sa school ng buo at walang bangas.
So was everything staged or a spur of the moment? It all began with an intentional action: me leaving him behind on a Monday morning. But him coming to school by himself was instinctive and a showcase of a contemplative thought (I’m actually not sure, for it was beyond my plan and expectation).
I was already keen on the idea of not bringing him to school this morning as a validation to the consequences of his actions. That’ll be another blog entry. Moving on, I left the house by myself, boarded the tricycle in my lonesome, and waited for a possible cab ride along Dr. A Santos in my solitude. The boy I left wailing at home suddenly appeared, cautiously descending from the steps of that misunderstood and misused over pass between Manila Memorial Park and Fourth Estate. I expected to see Granny Lolit, but he was alone. I assumed Mama allowed him since he has money for fare.
I was actually waiting for him to approach me, but he didn’t. He stood there by the foot of the stairs and waited for his ride, anxious of what’s happening around him. The lady barker then asked him, “Anong sasakyan mo?”. “Kabihasnan po,” he replied. “Ikaw lang mag-isa?”, was the follow up question which he answered with a nod, to my surprise. And where was I? I was only few steps, probably three meters, away from him. I was now focused on his next moves. Will he ride with me? Will he really go on his own? Those queues in my mind were answered when a Kabihasnan-bound jeepney appeared. And my heart began to pound crazily.
He didn’t waste any minute and boarded the old blue jeep. The jeepney started to move, and passed by in front of me. As the jeepney became a dot in front, the wild scenarios in my mind began. Many “what-ifs” peppered my consciousness. The moment I boarded a cab, I wanted to beg the driver to drive fast and follow that old blue jeepney, which perhaps was already traversing halfway its route.
I chanced upon the blue jeepney along Evacom, and my system relaxed when I saw Aeneas still seated behind the passenger side (it was our safety spot whenever we board a PUJ). Thunderbolts in my chest began to cease, and a feeling of awe began to engulf me. Who would have thought that this little man who was taken advantaged by his village peers will be able to commute on his own with such great distance.
I arrived first in school. From my calculations, he will arrive 20 minutes after. I began my class, even if I was still standing on pins and needles. My body relaxed and welcomed delight when I heard his voice from the other room.
I am actually confident that he can travel from our place in Paranaque to his school in Las Pinas. I trust his instincts and judgement. I know that he won’t be harmed unless evil forces will pave their way towards him. Ang magtatangkang kumidnap sa kanya, malamang ibalik pa siya sa amin kapag nagpakalawa na siya ng mga tanong niya.
What’s the point of sharing this post? Nothing, I just want to say that my Monday was not MANIC (despite everything that happened).
May tatlong batang marungis sa nasakyan kong jeep. Paakyat pa lang sa jeep ay sinalubong na ako ng isa sa kanila at nanghingi na ito ng barya. Hindi ko muna siya pinansin, inuna ko muna ang pagbabayad ng pamasahe ko. Nang mapatingin ako sa kanya, muli niyang inulit ang inuungot niya kanina. Sabi ko, kapag binigyan ko siya ng barya, pwede akong makulong. Matagal niya akong tinitigan na para bang nagbabakasali na mabigyan ko pa rin siya, o maari ding nililimi niya sa kanyang isipan ang kaseryosohan ng aking sinabi.
Noon nagsalita ang batang kaibayo niya, ang batang nasa kanan ko. Ang sabi nito, “Dapat kasi inipon mo na lang yung kinita natin kanina para hindi ka nanghihingi.” Nakuha ng batang ito ang atensiyon ko. Kung titingnan mo ang isang batang marungis, nakayapak at walang kamiseta, hindi mo maiiisip agad-agad na tuturan siya ng ganoon.
“Tandaan ninyo, paglaki ko, yayaman ako,” at dahil sa sinabi niyang iyon, napatingin na ako sa batang nasa kanan ko. At sa paglalahad na ginawa niya sa mga kasama niya kung paano siya magiging mayaman, naisip ko na gagawin niya talaga ang mga ito upang yumaman. Ang sabi ng bata mag-iipon siya ng kahit magkano araw-araw at hindi niya sasayangin ang mga kinikita niya tuwing pupunta siya sa palengke. Sa pagkakaintindi ko, galing silang tatlo sa palengke ng Paranaque sa may La Huerta at nagkaayaan silang magtungo sa isa pang malaking palengke sa may Zapote. Nais ng batang ito na gayahin siya ng dalawa pa niyang kasama kesa manghingi pa ng barya kung kani-kanino.
Naunawaan ko na ang batang ito ay may pagpapahalaga sa trabaho at pagsusumikap upang matupad niya ang kanyang pangarap. Hindi ko alam kung ano na ang napagdaanan ng batang ito upang mabuo sa kanyang isipan ang ganoong paniniwala. Maaring ito ang itinuro ng mga magulang niya sa kanya o ito ang natutunan niya sa kanyang kapaligiran. Nakakapanghinayang kung mapupunta sa wala ang batang ito.
Isinasabuhay niya ang isang makatotohanang pangarap.
Lourd praised Tiffany’s discipline and ideology. He compared the plans of the latest summa cum laude on how she can make a difference in improving Juan’s life to the way of the young activists who also yearn for change in the present society.
His remarks earned the ire of some veteran activist. I can’t blame them, he made them look like posers attending a rock concert without knowing any song of the icon they claim they’re lauding for.
I somehow agree with Lourd. I attended a state university when I was in college, and student activism was a common sight in our campus then. I was impressed by the activities they came up with to educate the public about the issues they were fighting for. A lot of them earned my respect back then especially those who were able to “enlighten” me with the issues they wanted the general to be aware of.
Sadly, there were some who were clueless of why they wanted us to listen to their symposia, to read their pamphlets, to march with them in Mendiola, and to aide their cause. Some of them were just being “maangas” because of the radical beliefs of their group……..